You are seriously in love with her, but what about her? Here are nine infallible signs that prove that she leads you by boat
“One of the lost, ten of found” say the women about rotten boyfriends, tragic breaks and men who never respond to their text messages.
Unfortunately, some women recite this mantra even when they are in a very good relationship. ” Traditionally, women feel that it is men who are not ready to commit. But today, this is the case for more and more women, ” says Megan Fleming , a couples therapist and psychology teacher at Cornell University’s Weill Cornell Medical College.
Does your girlfriend (or, wait, is she ready for it to be official?) Make you walk? Hard to say. ” In the initial stages of love and desire, it’s easy to be blinded by the surges of hormones and to ignore the critical tarvos testo signs that simply indicate that she does not love you ,” says Paul Hokemeyer. . Marital therapist based in Manhattan.
To make things simpler, here are nine signs that prove she’s taking you on a boat.
1 – She will not agree with your plans
When you offered her to go on vacation, to accompany you to your brother’s wedding, or to go to the concert with you next month, what did she say? If she’s constantly answering “we’ll see” or something, she may not be sure she wants to be with you that far into the future, says Fleming. On the other hand, if she still wants to plan things with you at the last minute, you may be planning B. If she does not plan things in advance, ask her why. Her work may be preventing her from having a flexible schedule and she can not really ask for time off. Or maybe she does not want to see you that often.
2 – It is desired
” Of course, hunting can be exciting, but it’s going for five minutes ,” says Hokemeyer. If you find yourself constantly having to prove yourself, having to overcome the obstacles to be with her, then chances are she’s not a girl for you . ” Ask yourself: are you still the one who calls him and who sends him text messages? Whoever asks to see her? If she is really committed to a relationship and wants to be with you, she will come to you too, says Fleming. Tell her what it feels like when she asks to see you and you want her to do it more often. If it does not, you will be fixed.
3 – Your conversations are superficial
If she feels emotionally connected to you, she’s going to want to talk about other things besides what you’ve done today, says Donald L. Cole , a marital and family therapist and trainer for the Gottman Institute. ” Does she share her inner world with you? Does she tell stories about her childhood? On his friends? What about negative things in her life (things that make her more vulnerable or does not show her in her best light)? If she does not share it all or try to hide it from you, it’s a strong sign that she does not want your relationship to become serious . ”
4 – It costs you dearly during your appointments
Attention, she may be interested in your wallet: she asks to be taken to the best restaurants? Does she give you a lot of “clues” about this new designer handbag that she covets or does she have problems paying for her rent? ” Courting is a matter of emotional and physical connection, not financial support, ” says Hokemeyer. If you notice that your relationship becomes more financial than anything else, tell him that you need to restrain yourself on this point. If she runs away or starts to complain, you have your answer.
5 – You do not feel safe with it
When it comes to women’s intuition, men also know when something is right or not. Ask yourself how you feel in this relationship. ” If you feel safe with someone and that person cares about you, it does not matter what formal commitments you have made to each other, ” says Fleming. Do you feel safe? If you read this article, probably not. Just be sure to know if this insecurity comes from your own lack of insurance or what it does.
6 – It takes a long time to come back to you
” If she does not answer your text messages almost immediately, either she is a teacher or a doctor and she does not always have access to her phone, or she is shared. Today, most people watch their cell phone as soon as it vibrates and read the message they received, whether they respond to it or not, ” says Tammy Nelson , a couple therapist, sexologist and author of The New Monogamy. . Of course, she may try to play it evasive by waiting 30 or 40 minutes before answering, but a day or more? In that case, she probably keeps you on hand for when she needs you, says Nelson.
7 – She only comes to you if she needs it
“How was your meeting? “. “I heard a song that made me think of you.” That’s the kind of message women send when they’re really interested in a man, says Nelson. She may even call you to tell you about her day. If it’s not the case, you think you’re lucky, but if she’s waiting for your weekly appointment to catch up on you, sorry she’s not as involved in what’s going on in your life and do not want you to know what’s going on in his.
8 – She never responds “I love you”
According to research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , it is mostly men who say “I love you” first. Often, women respond “I love you too” relatively soon after. If you’ve been dating for a couple of months, sleeping together, saying “I love you”, and still opting for “I like spending time with you,” she probably will not falling in love with you, says Hokemeyer. ” Love is intense and instinctive. It is a powerful cocktail of hormones, dopamine and fiery desire. There is not much rational in all that. She may have an emotional past that prevents her from immersing herself in the relationship, such as a traumatic childhood or past bad relationships, but love is rarely something that develops slowly over time . ”
9 – She talks a lot about her ex
” If a woman talks all the time about her ex-boyfriend, then you’re not the right one ,” says Nelson. If she constantly talks to you about him or their breakup, she has not moved on. And whether she realizes it or not, she may keep you on hand as a reassuring object.